Monday, January 16, 2017

Soft Like Snow

If I had any kind of resolution in the new year, it was to be a softer person. More empathetic, kinder, and happier in general. I was going to write a whole post on it, but Elizabeth Rose from Waltz & Willow beat me to it (you can read that here), and did a much better job than I ever could.

Softness aside, I'm trying to figure out where to go from here. I think I like this new posting schedule. It was meant to carve out a bit of time for something else, something new, but now I've got to figure out just what that something new is. I want to start taking more miscellaneous photos again. I want to try more recipes. I want to do a lot of things. Where to start?

I've changed the background color of this blog too many time this month. I can't settle on just one shade. It was baby blue at the end of last week, as a slight homage to the films I've watched lately. It's a lovely wine shade right now, because I love wine, because I think it feels sophisticated and romantic, but I don't know how long I'll like a dark background. I tried all white last week as well, but it was too empty. What do you think? What's your opinion on the Yachtsmaan background? I'd really like to know.

Of course, I hope you all had a lovely weekend. I rounded mine off in pajamas, binge-watching House Hunters International with wine. It couldn't have been more stereotypical or lovely. The weather has been rainy, and there hasn't been much light (hence the photos), but it's been cozy. What did you do this weekend? Let me know that too!

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

I Took Birth Control and Almost Immediately Quit

Four or five months ago, I began taking the pill. It was a decision thought over for months, and based on little to no knowledge. I've dealt with difficult periods and even more difficult PMS symptoms for years, and I was set on trying the pill to help even out my symptoms. This is absolutely not my way of saying the pill is worthless for everyone. It helps some people out greatly, but it didn't help me. I chose to stop after only six weeks, and though I feel my own reasons are valid, they might not be. My decision to stop taking the pill might have been irrational and/or irresponsible. I honestly don't know.

I'll start with the symptoms I mentioned before. I've always had pretty heavy periods and difficult cramps. As I've gotten older, I've had cramps during PMS as well. I'm often exhausted during my period, and I''ll usually go through bouts nausea and indigestion. I get those symptoms during PMS as well. PMS has a funny way of throwing my moods so far off balance, it's ridiculous. Having days of severe depression and anxiety are common during PMS. I've also recently started taking an antidepressant, which has really helped highlight just how my PMS effects my anxiety and depression.

I had one period while I was on the pill, and it was quite a bit worse than a normal period, which I didn't think was possible. I was in bed for four days with crippling cramps, and the nausea was so bad that I almost threw up (I should mention that I literally never thrown up. It never happens.). I was reasonably alarmed by this, and that week was what really set off the train of thought that led me to stop taking the medication. For example, said train of thought brought up the issues my own mother had conceiving children. She took the pill for a short amount of time, and though it might not have had anything at all to do with her issues, the thought had me worried. I'm far from a point in my life where I want to have children, but as someone with ovaries, it's something I unfortunately have to keep in mind. 

I stopped taking the pill last October, and I think I'm still experiencing residual effects from stopping the process. I've had mid-cycle bleeding and cramps for the last week or two, and it's possibly still from the pill leaving my system. I've heard this can take around three months, and I'm right at the end of that mark. I've got a doctor's appointment later this month, so I suppose I'll find out for sure. 

I thought I'd share my short story about taking the pill, because I wish I'd have read into more experiences that others had before I officially decided to take it myself. Any bit of research helps, you know? I understand that there are other birth control options to explore, but as someone who isn't currently sexually active, it's not something I'm considering at the moment. I hope if you're considering birth control, you do plenty of research to find out what will work best for you, unlike myself.

Monday, January 9, 2017

Dabbling In Abstract Again

Remember when I mentioned wanting to paint all day last Wednesday? It didn't really happen. As in, it didn't happen at all. I ended up having an asthma attack, which hasn't happened in eleven years, and that pretty much took over the rest of my day. It's fine though, and I was feeling much better the next day, and I spent the rest of the week working on these bright pieces. Red is my go-to power color, so it was a no-brainer when I pulled out my palette. 

We finally had snow Friday, and it was beautiful. You'll see a few photos I took next week, probably, and it was so much fun. It was only a slight dusting of snow, but that's all it takes to lift my spirits. The red was even more fitting, because I was in the best mood. Seriously, nothing beats watching your dogs play in even the slightest bit of snow. What frozen face?

Anyway, I strayed from abstract paintings towards the end of last year. I was going through a slight burnout, and I was very much caught up in the holiday season. It's all I want to do right now though. It's an extremely cathartic process. I think I want to spend more time this year in this medium. This is a good start.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Empty Space

I've got to be honest, skipping a posting day, even if it's on purpose, feels so wrong. I'm committing to this schedule for at least a month though, so we'll see how crazy it makes me.

I grew particularly attached to my Christmas decorations throughout December, and now that they're put away, I feel like there's just a huge empty hole in my space. Luckily, I've got plenty of projects planned, some of which will fill the stark space behind me in these photos. It's almost sterile, and I'm afraid the room will echo if I'm too loud. I've finally had a bit of post-Christmas sadness kick in, but I think it's just hormones.

On another note, I haven't drawn or painted anything all week, and I'm getting broody about it, so I think that's the main thing I'll be getting up to today. I still haven't purchased a new marker for the marker book, but I'd love to get back to simpler illustrations. Though I loved creating the Christmas pieces, I wasn't the happiest with them. I don't thing I fully put myself into them. I was a little disenchanted with illustrating by the end of the year. It's a good time to start fresh, no? 

I miss abstract painting as well, but that's something for another post. For now, I'm off to spend a day experimenting with illustrations. Maybe I'll find a new film to put on while I work. Hopefully I will. Sounds good. 

Monday, January 2, 2017

January Edit - Happy New Year!

Another year begins, and the holiday season is over. I feel like toning down my wardrobe immensely this month. Basics and cozy pieces are what I'm leaning towards. I want stylish comfort while I get down to business with new projects. I've included a couple dressier pieces, because an edit feels incomplete otherwise. My distaste for jumpsuits left the moment I spotted that Zara number at the top. I need it for Winter layering ASAP! Most of these pieces are perfect for Winter layering, really.

On a completely unrelated note, I had a bit of a brainstorm yesterday about where I want to take this blog in 2017. As time goes on, I put myself more and more into these posts, and a lot of work goes into the overall creation of each one. However, I sometimes post things that I'm not completely happy with, if only to fill a personal quota for the day. That needs to end.

Starting this month, I will narrow down my posting schedule to Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. The Friday posts will stay Weekend Reading posts, but Monday and Wednesday will be something different every time. I'm currently only committing to this schedule for the month of January. It's a test drive of sorts, and I'll let you know if there are any changes to be made at the end of the month. Hopefully this schedule will allow me to feel like everything I'm posting is something of high quality.

That's my resolution bit, but enough of that. Happy new year everyone! I hope 2017 brings amazing things for all of you!